Taking a page out of Joao’s playbook, I decided to pay creative tribute to my good friends this Christmas.
So, without further delay, here are the Bodega Soliloquies in modern English, and the plays they appear in, written by Lawrence (aka “Larry”) Shakespeare.*
*William Shakespeare’s much, much less-talented descendant, from his third cousin’s uncle’s grandson thrice removed, whose works were discovered by their only known translator, some crazy lady, in an antique mattress said to have been used in a Stratford-upon-Avon whorehouse.
And she has an excellent taste in economists too. Piss on Keynes!
*As opposed to “Geek girls”, who simply know a lot about certain aspects of geek culture, “Nerd girls” are actually very well-versed in academic minutae outside the literature – gender studies spectrum.
Also, when I say “Nerd Girls”, I mean they actually also look like girls, not dessicated mummies of what used to be a female, which is the preferred look of many female academics.
Tron was a mediocrity
No substance beyond mere 3D
The only thing nice
For that asking price
Is Olivia, my dream lady.
Waiting for the end credits...
Plot: ** / *****
Presentation: *** / *****
Performances: *** / *****
Olivia Wilde: ***** / *****
Film Rating: ***** / *****
PS: This is why I can’t get a job reviewing movies….
Okay, so, the Twilight “phenomenon” has been around for a while. What with all books released, every one of them a movie in the making, you’d think that “Twilight” had just about peaked in its 15 minutes of pop culture relevance. Sure, the last movie hasn’t come out yet, but Harry Potter was over as a craze long before the snooze-fest of a 7th movie came out.
However, there are lessons to be learned here, so that future generations can look back at our civilization and understand what makes us tick. And by “us”, I mean the dreaded 12-15 year old girl demographic and the vampire crap we feed them.
Ahh, a new blog is born.
Now, like any newborn thing, it gets to do stuff, like drool, laugh and pee all over people’s shirts.
But, before we get into that, I suppose I must explain what this blog was meant to do.
I am a writer of sorts, and while I am reasonably free to write dick jokes and Olivia Wilde worship into my serious work, I find that people generally frown on that stuff.
So, enter Insane Miscellany, the dimly-lit attic of my intellectual townhouse that nobody wants to visit. Probably because my hunchbacked twin brother lives there.
So, on with the show.
Oh, and…. First!